The Illusion of Control: How Overcontrolling the External World Diminishes the Depth of the Inner Self
In the quiet chambers of the soul, a delicate dance takes place between the outer world and the inner realms. Those who seek to shape, control, or mould what they can see often forget the profound landscape within—the vast, intricate world of emotions, desires, fears, and unspoken truths. The outer world demands attention, but in the rush to master it, the inner world remains untouched, hidden from view.
The truth is, our inner world is a labyrinth—a rich, complex expanse of feelings, past wounds, and unconscious patterns that shape every thought and action. Yet many are consumed by the belief that true power lies in mastering what is outside themselves. They think controlling the world around them will bring them peace, clarity, or even definite power. But no external force can still the storm within. True power lies not in shaping the world outside, but in understanding the labyrinth of emotions that resides within. As Carl Jung said, "Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."
Perception—the very world they seek to control—is but a fleeting shadow, shaped by unconscious fears, desires, and wounds. It shifts constantly, molding itself to fit the stories we tell ourselves. Others may view them as figures of power, bending the world to their will. But this is not their truth. It is a mask—worn so tightly that the essence beneath fades into oblivion.
The world of perception is fragile. It is not reality. True mastery lies not in manipulating the world, but in discovering the deep layers of emotion and belief that govern our actions and reactions.
Lao Tzu's timeless wisdom resonates here: “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” Power over others is fleeting—like a house built on shifting sands, vulnerable to the winds of change. But mastery of the self is grounded, like the roots of an ancient tree, deep and unwavering. It begins with the courage to face what lies within.
Those who seek control through manipulation or force are ensnared in a web of illusion. They build a fragile version of power that shields them from confronting the deeper, often painful emotions they’ve buried. The shame. The guilt. The anger. The fear. Until they turn inward and face these emotions, they will remain blind to the powerful forces shaping their every reaction.
Only when one chooses to dive deeper into the self, to uncover the complexities of their emotional world, does true understanding begin. When they dare to explore the roots of their emotions—where they come from, why they exist—they begin to see clearly. No longer driven by unconscious patterns, they start to navigate life with a sense of true mastery.
The path to self-realisation lies in this inner exploration. It is in the stillness, the quiet reflection, that the need for external control begins to fade. Not because the world is subdued, but because the self is fully known. In understanding the self, the world outside shifts effortlessly, as we no longer need to manipulate or force outcomes.
Until that moment of introspection, they remain trapped in unconscious emotional patterns. Without understanding the source of their triggers—without addressing the unresolved wounds that fuel their reactions—they remain bound to a cycle of repetition. But in facing the shadow, in exploring the emotional currents that run deep within, they begin to unravel their truth.
In the quiet of introspection, the veils of illusion lift. Slowly, the emotional patterns that once governed their actions are revealed. Each belief is examined. Each wound acknowledged. And the triggers that once held them captive lose their grip. What was hidden beneath the surface—fear, shame, anger—emerges not as something to avoid, but as something to understand.
As the layers fall away, so too does the illusion of control. The more they face their inner truth, the less they need to control the world around them. They begin to live not in reaction to external circumstances, but from a place of conscious choice. Fully aware of each moment. Fully present in each breath.
The journey is no longer about manipulating the world to fit their desires. It is about embracing the depths of their own being, where true wisdom and self-mastery reside.
